


this young boy is a problem, you should call it in

by ralndown



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Lloyd Garmadon, post-Child's Play
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-06 07:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21222800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ralndown/pseuds/ralndown
Summary: Lloyd didn't think about much more than being brave and impressing the other ninja as he tossed the jar of tea that would change his life. He threw in a witty Starfarrer quote and everything - he did what he had to do. Fair would come later, he told himself. He forgot there was anything different about who he was that might make things more complicated. More truthfully, he didn't really know there was anything notably different at all.But after, it was very difficult to ignore.





	this young boy is a problem, you should call it in

**Author's Note:**

> title from Jim Morrison by Jon Bellion

Lloyd didn't think about much more than being brave and impressing the other ninja as he tossed the jar of tea that would change his life. He threw in a witty _Starfarrer_ quote and everything - he did what he had to do.  _ Fair would come later _ , he told himself. He forgot there was anything different about who he was that might make things more complicated. More truthfully, he didn't really know there was anything notably different at all.

But after, it was very difficult to ignore.

The other guys also had no idea Lloyd was any different from any other eleven year old boy they had run across before. He was just as irritating, only maybe more after that poor boarding school. Even as they began to train him and let him into their team - into their home - they didn't notice. They didn't know there was anything  _ to  _ notice. If they had, this issue could have been solved much easier.

Jay was the youngest, and thus the closest to Lloyd - how could he not notice? He knew the boy had some difficulty with more than a few things, being separated from your parents and thrown into boarding school will do that to you - and the added bonus of the evil father and sinister school didn't help anything either. 

It wasn't much of a secret that Lloyd was bullied by the other boys at Darkley's for a number of reasons, but the most obvious one completely slipped the minds of the older boys. 

After rescuing him from the Serpentine and accepting his fate as the legendary Green Ninja, they had no choice but to start caring for the boy as one of their own.  They still missed it.

* * *

The smoke dissipated and the screaming stopped. Cole stood slowly, feeling his muscles settle back into his body, and ran his gloved hands over his hips and up his chest. His gloves fit and his hands were big and strong again.

"What happened?"

“We’re not kids anymore!”

The others stood beside him, checking their bodies in much the same ways. Zane twitched a few times, no doubt still trying and failing to rationalize how the spell could have affected his systems the way it did, but he seemed functional. Kai held his hands out in front of him and rolled his shoulders, pausing once to arch his back and flex his chest. He breathed an audible sigh of relief. Jay shook out his arms and legs as he stood with an air of familiar discomfort. He very quickly drew his arms back to his chest as he settled once again and faced the rest of his team. They almost didn't want to ask the remaining question.

"But what about Lloyd?"

A dissonant grunt came from the disaster behind them. The ninja, along with Nya and the Sensei, turned to stare as a mop of unkempt blonde hair emerged from the mess. His face was covered in a thin layer of dust, making it nearly impossible to recognize the small familiar features that hid beneath it. Lloyd also then began to check his body, though his was entirely foreign and new, unlike the others. 

He ran his tongue over his teeth from inside his mouth and tried to stand. Things felt weird in there but they could deal with it later. His once slightly large shoes now pinched his feet and legs that usually felt far too small stretched out beneath him. He was still small, but there was definitely more to him. For one, he could no longer feel the extra inches of his Gi bunched around his ankles. He was still skinnier than he should be, a magic potion wasn't gonna fix that, but he wouldn't trip anymore. He stretched his back and lifted his arms, disappointed to find that they were still mostly skin and bones, but again found that his sleeves finally fit him properly. He stared at his hands in his gloves - bigger, yes, but still soft. Somehow, still not big enough.

"I'm..."

No.  _ That  _ was wrong. That should be the biggest change. Why hadn't his voice dropped? Maybe it would just take a bit longer. That had to be it. 

He cleared his throat and tried to sound like he thought he should.

"...Older."

* * *

Lloyd stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at his body until he couldn't anymore. And then he forced himself to look again. 

How could he forget? How could he be so stupid? 

_He_ always knew he was a boy. _Everybody else_ just kept getting it wrong. Initially, when he was dropped at Darkley's it was hard to persuade the administration of this, but after he got someone to cut his hair and he adopted his signature scowl, he got a lot more convincing. His classmates were a little bit harder to win over. Good thing he's always been a quick learner. 

Not everyone accepted his word for it. There were some issues as he grew older. But for the most part, if he avoided going to the bathroom when anybody else was there, nobody cared. He watched the older boys and as he grew learned to emulate them; how to walk, talk, and get what you want. He had it on lock - he was king of the world.

That’s what he told his dad anyway.

He would just have to deal with it. He couldn't imagine telling... 

Who would he tell anyway? His uncle? Cause  _ that's  _ not awkward. He didn't feel close enough to any one of the other guys that he would feel comfortable asking about an issue like this. Maybe Nya, but even then, wouldn't that be  _ weird _ ? He just couldn't. 

Not unless he absolutely had to.

* * *

Lloyd sat down in the shower, pulling his knees to his chest and bowing his head, letting the water run his hair all over and into his eyes. 

It wasn't working. He couldn't ignore it. It made everything so awkward, he couldn't do anything without being aware of it. Luckily, the others took his sudden reservation as just getting used to his new body. It  _ had  _ only been a week and truthfully he was still getting used to how his longer limbs worked - especially in a fight - but it was way more than that.

He had to find a solution, and fast. He still had to fight his father, now sooner than later now that he was 'older'. He couldn't do that if he couldn't stay focused or comfortable. 

Lloyd shut off the water and grabbed his towel, focusing first on his hair, and then the rest of his body. For a brief moment he was a little too thankful he went most of his life without much to eat, as he had a lingering feeling that this awkwardness would be worse if he weren't as skinny. He stopped once again in front of the mirror.

He didn't stare to criticize, but to strategize. 

There had to be something he could do without asking for help. 

Swallowing the coals that simmered in his throat at the mere thought of it, he took his hands and began manipulating the gentle folds of his chest. If he could shift everything just -  _ there  _ \- he might be okay. 

He noticed a scrape on the back of his left hand that blurred two of his knuckles a tender red and got an idea.

He quickly opened and shifted through the bathroom cupboards until he found the white tape and bandage he knew the others used from time to time for training. Standing back at the counter he put down the two rolls and started planning. He stretched and ripped a piece of tape with his teeth about the length of his hand and used it to pull his chest to one side. 

It would work, but it would take some reinforcement.

* * *

After giving a weak excuse, Lloyd cut his daily training early and retreated once again to the bathroom. 

He really thought it would work.

He would just have to try again.  _ Back to the drawing board.  _

He met his own eyes in the mirror and plastered on his classic Darkley’s smirk. He was the  _ Green Ninja _ , his dad is _ Lord freaking Garmadon _ \- he defeated a _ Grundle! _ He could deal with something as small as his own body, right? He pulled the tape and bandage back out of the cupboard, already formulating an improved plan to solve his issue. 

Just a few extra wraps couldn’t hurt. 

He could do this.

* * *

He couldn’t do this. 

He felt his skin rip raw as he dismantled the casing around his chest. His lungs heaved and his hands shook - from what, he wasn’t sure. His legs were sore from hours of training and his knuckles were bruised to the point of a gentle purple, but that was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. He could barely see through the ratty mess of his hair that kept falling in his eyes (gosh, he really needed a haircut) but that didn’t even matter. All he knew was that he needed the wrap off _ off off - right now!  _

He stood heaving in the small bathroom, his chest finally free, taking rushed but deep breaths through his mouth. He bent to finish the task of peeling off his sweaty Gi and kicked it into a corner to be dealt with later. Piling up the unsalvageable mess of tape and bandages, he shoved his shame hastily into the trash can beside the sink and moved towards the shower. As he stepped into the hot stream moments later, it took all of his strength not to sink to his knees immediately. Instead, he resolutely went through the motions of sitting and slowly unfolding his body under the rush of the water and leaning his head back against the opposite wall. 

It was in moments like these that he really missed his smaller body. Before, he could fit comfortably in the now cramped tub without worrying about, well, much at all really. Now, if he wanted to stay warm under the narrow stream from the shower head, he had to curl awkwardly and let the water get into his eyes. It was too complicated. The warmth felt good, and his body thanked him for lying down, but it still felt wrong. Everything had changed so fast. He hardly recognized his own face in the mirror, and most of all, he had no idea what to do with his hair. 

He was tired. Too tired for… however old he was supposed to be now. 

He still _felt_ eleven. He wondered if he would ever feel as old as his body made him look, or would he feel this trapped and desperate for the rest of his life? How could he ever find any help for that? He doubt there was a support group for the "recently-magically-enhanced", though he wouldn’t be _that_ surprised. After all, he did release the mythical Serpentine not that long ago. 

Lloyd closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sound of the water. It was part of one of his uncles meditation practices, but he just wanted something to distract himself from the feeling of his own body. He started to wander into some of the odd lulls meditation lead him to, but found that the response from his energy ricocheted through his body in a less than appealing way and highlighted exactly what he was seeking to avoid. That was always the most irritating part of meditation.

Eventually the boy sank comfortably into a hot numbness that separated his mind from his body. Enough so that he couldn’t hear the knocking at the door or the whispered voices behind it.

* * *

Cole’s fist landed slowly and carefully, yet forcefully, on the wrong side of Lloyd’s aching ribs, and he crumpled.

“Woah, hey, kid - you okay?”

_ No. No he wasn’t.  _ Lloyd gasped in a haggard breath and forced away the tears that burned behind his eyes. He managed a smile that probably looked a lot more like a grimace, and brought himself back to his feet, hands fighting at his sides not to clutch at the spark of pain blossoming across his chest. 

“I’m fine”

He wheezed an awkward cough.

“I’m just… gonna…”

He tried to walk away at a steady pace but the pain in his chest and the adrenaline of fear kicked him into a sprint as he mostly stumbled through the corridor and into the bathroom. He could faintly hear the footfalls of his friend chasing after him but he couldn’t muster another response. 

Running was a bad idea. Running was a  _ very bad idea _ . The spark in his chest had burst into a roaring fire and he briefly wondered if this was what Kai felt like all the time. Because of the tremors in his hands it took more than one attempt to reach the tie holding his Gi together and pull it apart. He blinked, trying to get his reflection to come into focus in the mirror and realized he was crying. 

He didn’t hear the soft click of the door swinging open until he realized he was also staring at the blurry face of Cole in the mirror beside his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Cole's gonna whoop Lloyd's ass for it very soon but just so everybody knows : bind!! safely!!! 
> 
> anyway wow I haven't written for this fandom since I was 12 but now I'm 18 and I'm back so must be pretty important  
I still have a lot of thoughts about Lloyd skipping from being a child to a young adult so I thought I may as well start writing them down, I just also love writing trans characters and important trans relationships because as a trans person that's something very close to my heart
> 
> this will be at least a five part fic of which I will write hopefully within the next month, so do expect a regular update   
thank you for checking out the first part - if you liked it please leave a comment of encouragement or even just yelling I will accept anything! <3


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